Check Please - Movies **WARNING SLIGHTLY OFFENSIVE

Twilight Saga: new Moon (10/10)

Spoiler alert: Werewolves are never-nudes

I just saw New Moon last night and you know what... it was awesome. I enjoyed every minute of it and I don't care what you think of me. Not sure how the director Chris Weitz (About a Boy)did it, but its one of the most comfortable movies I've ever seen, you know that feeling when you get in from a cold rain and your soaking wet and you change into dry sweat pants and a sweater and get into bed? That's what the movie feels like. In a month or two when it comes out on DVD and you have a super case of the fear, rent it, get into some sweats, drink some cold syrup and get into bed. I guarantee you all your feelings of anxiety and self disgust will float away.

RAAAwesooooome!

In addition I am now team Jacob, Edward is just a sissy vampire that cries all the time and looks like he stays in all day playing xbox live, also he's older than your grandpa. Jacob is a fucking wolf the size of a car. I mean are they even comparable?

2012 (0/10 - 10/10)

I saw this last week. or should I say last weak..ooh burn! The earth fucking is awesome, the rest of it is ridiculously terrible. I was watching it and the whole time I kept getting this feeling like I wasn't getting it. Like you know when people argue about movies like Adaptation and Donnie Darko, when they are like, "I got it, it's about this. blah blah bullshit bullshit bullshit."
I left thinking "that movie went over my head" then it finally hit me and the whole movie made sense. 2012 is a movie written by a guy who has down sydrome about what would happen if he and his down syndrome buddies got caught up in the Armageddon. If you watch the movie with that in mind it all makes perfect sense and it might just be the best movie ever made. Its kinda of like watching Six Sense for a second time.

3 comments:

  1. Dude, did you just come out of the closet?

    ReplyDelete
  2. Yep, totally gay. Don't tell Kristina.

    ReplyDelete